What if...checking in to see how every Little Debbie product is celebrating day two of Pride Month?

Also, what if there's such a thing as too many snack cakes?

Important note! This email is too long, so you’ll need to view it in a browser if you want to find out what alllllllll the snack cakes are doing today.

Okay, that’s it. HAPPY PRIDE TO ALL MY FAVORITE CLOWNS <3

Cosmic Brownies

Giving the lead at their Crystals & Queers AA Meeting to celebrate their six-year anniversary.

Turtle Brownies

Looking up “enby” on Urban Dictionary in an incognito browser tab.

Peanut Butter Crunch Bars

Going to their CrossFit gym’s pride WoD, sponsored by Halo Top.

Nutty Buddys

Grindr and Dunkin’ iced coffee.

Pecan Spinwheels

Lex and oat matcha from Alfred.

Honey Buns

Tinder and Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte, no whip.

Unicorn Cakes

Listening to Meghan Trainor while scolding people about voting.

Birthday Cakes

Listening to Troye Sivan while walking their dog, Tina.

Chocolate Cupcakes

Listening to girl in red on private mode.

Devil Cremes

Listening to G-Flip, earnestly.

Devil Squares

Watching Hayley Kiyoko’s “For The Girls” video just. one. more. time.

Fancy Cakes

Listening to King Princess, wearing a Brandy Melville top and Lisa Says Gah pants, doesn’t know what nepotism is.

Frosted Fudge Cakes

Defending that HAIM choreo video.

Zebra Cakes

Listening to Kehlani while waiting for the tattoo artist they’ve been crushing on to open their books at 10 am.

Strawberry Shortcake Rolls

Ordering Teva Pride Flatforms from Amazon.

Zebra Cake Rolls

Ordering Teva Hurricanes in Sherbert Multi from REI.

Swiss Rolls

Ordering a 1994 colorway of Teva Originals from eBay, finally cleaning out their watchlist.

Fig Bars

Minding their business.

Peanut Butter Creme Pies

Donating to the ACLU.

Raisin Creme Pies

Donating to GLAAD.

Oatmeal Creme Pies

Donating to The Trevor Project.

Fudge Rounds

Sharing a mutual aid request for an acquaintance’s top surgery with the caption “yas queen,” not donating.

Star Crunch

Donating $500 to six different gender-affirming go-fund-me campaigns from total strangers, telling no one.

Chocolate Chip Creme Pies

Searching “lgbt donation,” scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, ultimately buying a “Notorious RBG” mug from an Etsy drop-shipper.   

Banana Marshmallow Pies

Asking for donations to fund the fourth installment in their series of essays defending the “feminism” in the Harry Potter cinematic universe.

Jelly Creme Pies

Just ran out of hot glue gun sticks, swinging by Hobby Lobby.

Apple Pies

Ordering a You Are Loved candle from the Human Rights Campaign to put in the downstairs powder room.

Cherry Pies

Listening to an episode of We Can Do Hard Things at 1.35x speed while folding their husband’s socks.

Mini Brownies

Watching Gentleman Jack.

Blueberry Mini Muffins

Watching Schitt’s Creek for the fourth time through.

Honey Bun Mini Muffins

Watching The L Word.

Chocolate Chip Mini Muffins

Watching The L Word: Generation Q (ironically, probably).

Strawberry Shortcake Mini Muffins

Watching Hacks.

Birthday Cake Mini Muffins

Watching Heartstopper while also playing make-an-offer chess with half a dozen vintage chore coat depop sellers.

Not checking in on the mini donuts

Gotta go finish watching Lovestruck High and get at least a B- in capitalism today so I can continue paying my exorbitant LA rent. If you got this far, love u big time! 💅