What if...holiday haiku reviews, vol. 3?
Not sure if I'm proud or embarrassed by how many are in here
Greetings (seasonal)!
Is this the last batch of cursed rom-com content? To be decided! I cleared out my haiku repository doc though, so we’ll see if I watch more holiday nonsense over the actual holidays. All signs point to: uh, duh.
Love Hard (2021)
Made by Buzzfeed bot
Chekhov’s kiwi allergy
With Jimmy O. Yang
Catering Christmas (2022)
Poor me, nepo son
Philanthrophy is a scam
But bone apple teeth
Holiday Rush (2019)
Is Santa your god?
Dead wife ghost says, “get it in”
Never having kids
The Princess Switch (2018)
A man reads one book
Spencer, produced by Hallmark
Oh, Belgravia
Hollywood Christmas (2022)
Oh no, Die Hard bit
Confront your character flaw
Leather in July
The 12 Dates of Christmas (2011)
Feels like more than 12?
Never clean gutters alone
Honey has a smell
Something From Tiffany’s (2022)
Riddled with plot holes
They’re all so hot I don’t care
Corn—, corn—, cornetto
I Believe In Santa (2022)
Awful awful stuff
Santa freak and patriot
Deserve each other
The Christmas Wedding Planner (2017)
Circus sound design
Would you too text your dead mom?
(And Joey Fatone!)
This newsletter brought to you by:
A trip to Bob Baker Marionette Theater to see “The Nutcracker”
Running into Jeff Lewis (Flipping Out), Luann de Lesseps (RHONY), and Stassi Schroeder (Vanderpump Rules) in my neighborhood, all within the same 24-hour period
Some mediocre Betty Crocker cookies we made/decorated because I didn’t feel like buying vanilla & food coloring & powdered sugar & etc. to make from scratch
