What if…the 2023 Best In Nonsense Awards?
Exactly what it sounds like!
Hello!
Time to revisit my character flaw of loving lists and meaningless awards. Just like last year, there are no rules, and logic will be used sparingly, if at all!
As always, please share your nominations and/or victors with me.
✨Olivia’s Best of 2023✨
Note: there are no books on this list! They will be served separately, promise.
Best cold brew (home)
La Colombe “Yellow”
Best cold brew (away)
Verve
Best fruit
Seedless grapes, extra crunchy only
Best Safdie brothers involvement (scripted)
The Curse
Best Safdie brothers involvement (unscripted)
Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God
Best unpaid labor
Drafting a novel
Best paid labor
N/A
Best NA beverage not containing adaptogens, CBD, stevia, or monk fruit
Ruby Sparkling Hibiscus in Concord Grape
Best app that isn’t Libby
One Sec
Best snake cake
Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls
Best nemesis (group)
People who yell-sneeze
Best nemesis (entity)
The IRS, more specifically, quarterly taxes
Best social media
Letterboxd
Best reality television (historical)
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season 2
Best reality television (contemporary)
Taskmaster, Series 16
Best television
Beef
Best museum
The Great American Alligator Museum, New Orleans, LA
Best hyperfixation
Embroidery, frozen waffles (tie)
Best trail
Fryman Canyon
Best podcast
The Shit No One Tells You About Writing
Best purchase
Scrivener
Best-performing beauty product
Laura Mercier Caviar Stick Eyeshadow
Best onscreen performance involving a beauty product
Julianna Moore & Natalie Portman & ILIA Multi-Stick in Tenderly, May December
Best student at the Harry Styles school of American accents
Rebecca Ferguson in Silo
Best earworm
The closing number in Theater Camp (“Camp Isn’t Home”)
Best romcom no one saw
If You Were The Last
Best romcom lots of people saw
Rye Lane
Best movie title
3 Bed, 2 Bath, 1 Ghost
Best celebrity sighting (A-List)
Holland Taylor & Sarah Paulson walking their dogs
Best celebrity sighting (B-and below-List)
DJ James Kennedy skateboarding while on Facetime
This newsletter brought to you by:
Turning “it’s raining in LA, and I might not survive” into my personality for the week (pejorative).
Trying to decide if Jaden Smith, Mae Martin, and Melanie Lynskey are in an approximately equal fame echelon.
A Reese’s tree, refrigerated.