What if...the alien from Nope shops the final dregs of the SSENSE sale?

Trying to make sense of that act three costume change

The following is all one big spoiler, but only if you consider a costume mood board for a UFO a spoiler. So um, not a spoiler at all. It’s an alien movie! There is indeed an alien.

Have y’all seen Nope? I saw it Saturday at 10:20 a.m. like a totally normal person, and it was great. Incredible metaphors! Beautifully shot! Keke Palmer!

I do not currently have enough brain cells to provide intelligible analysis, so instead, here’s a mood board I dreamt up while fully distracted over the last 20 minutes of Nope. It’s so rare that we get to see this level of character development in alien species on film! Most aliens seem to be all or nothing — it’s either they’re locked into a frisbee look or they’re full Men In Black shapeshifters. But ol’ Jean Jacky went from drab to diabolically fabulous like they were one of those contestants Tyra decided to make her “project” on America’s Next Top Model circa 2005.

before: chic enough, I guess

after: OKAY, SERVE.

How did we get here? No idea! But what follows is my best guess of the costume pulls. Exclusively from what remains of the SSENSE sale, because I can only assume Jordan Peele ran the budget up on explosions or vintage hand-crank cameras or air-conditioning for video village.

Absolutely perfect for wearing during that between-feeding R&R! Viscose for $250, though? I think not.

Fluttery! Cheeky! Perfect for that Marilyn Moment, but may not have that “I’m a predator” level of gravity necessary for eating a bunch of children and stuff.

Vaginal without being too obvious! Ready to gobble!

Now we’re talking. Drama with plenty of breathability for those more agile moments.

You’ve heard of a spit cup? This is a spit-shoulder-bag for all those pesky undigestible bits and bobs.

PREVIOUSLY ON LOVE ISLAND. (I will not write Nope x Ekin-Su fan-fic. I will not write Nope x Ekin-Su fan-fic. I will not…)

In case our star also decides to become a girl boss and build a wellness-adjacent empire, and then needs something to wear for a profile in Elle shot by Petra Collins.

Maybe a little teaser as to the um, welcome mat? windpipe? for all guests of JJ’s digestive system.

If we have to see a quarter go through a dude’s eye, surely we can see some nipple, no?

Alright, I’m cutting it off here before Substack forces a “click here to read this in a web browser” extension. If you made it this far, thank you, and I’m sorry 😈

This newsletter brought to you by: AMC at The Grove, 48 episodes of Love Island, skinning my knee like a seven-year-old on my hike this morning, and stale Trader Joe’s “Way More Chocolate Chips Cookies.”