What if…you (or someone you know) might want to hire me?

On letting go, self-promotion, and the economics of making stuff

Hello!

I’m starting to realize that pulling together those algo-free reco lists is a surefire way for me to uncover something I actually just need to explore in longer form. As I was adding an offhanded little “hiring me lol” to a list of mostly frivolous recommendations, I caught myself thinking about why I’m so afraid to do specific types of self-promotion. So let’s get into that (frivolous recos coming later, I promise)!

Me writing a silly little reco list and doing a surprise self-reflection.

The Incident

From a legal standpoint, I will be covering my ass with three pairs of underwear, the thickest denim, and snowpants. I’m not being cutely coy here! Y’all know I love gossip and want nothing more than to engage. But the long story extremely short is that a few weeks ago, the company I worked for ceased operations without notice and left about 100 of us high and dry. You can read about it (sort of, there’s not much there there) here. 

If you’re already bored, you can creep on my CV, LinkedIn, and/or work, maybe tell a friend or two, and I’ll see you back here in a few days for some heavy The Ultimatum: Queer Love evangelizing!

Hold On, Rewind — Rapid Fire Q&A

Wait, you had a job? 

Yes! My title was Associate Creative Director (Copy), which basically means “writer who also manages people and projects.” I’ve had a day job for as long as I’ve made stuff because it is the only way I know how to make the stuff I actually want to make while also paying my bills. 

But what about all the articles?

Being a person, especially a person who lives in Los Angeles, is expensive. If you work in media, just skip this part. But basically, media is a disaster. There are like, two publications left, and if you want to know how much they pay, you can go here and bask in bleakness. Even writing for a prestigious publication means hours of pitching, researching, writing, and editing for a couple hundred bucks (if you’re lucky) paid out 30-90 days after it's published (if you’re lucky).

What about the other projects? 

With the exception of teaching at Index (they have a super fair 50/50 split of student fees), all my other projects I do because if I don’t make stuff I will turn into a dusty husk. Book reviews, drawings, embroidery, and any miscellaneous other creations are all unpaid. No one pays me to write this newsletter. 

What if I want to support?

I will not try to convince you that “it only costs a cup of coffee to support my work,” because I subscribe to dozens of newsletters and understand how the math there actually works. Paid subscriptions are on, though, so if you’re feeling like microdosing “being a wealthy benefactor,” this is your time to shine! (You can also megadose “being a wealthy benefactor” by putting any amount you want in as a Founding Member.) But anyway, maybe I’ll introduce some extra benefits. Let y’all suggest topics, I don’t know! I’ll gladly cross that bridge if/when anyone says “take my money, please!”

On Self-Promotion

I remain unconvinced that it’s possible to have the compulsion to make stuff and the compulsion to share stuff at the same time. Marlee Grace has written about this tension at length in their newsletter. For me, things get even more mangled when money is being exchanged or the work being done is/feels corporate.

I’ll happily scream from the rooftops that I made a new shirt with an embroidered bead lizard on it. I’ll tell you all about my anti-commercial-value art class. I will even try and convince you to follow the zine I’m working on with Elena so you can think about buying an issue later this year. These are all labors of love and reflections of who I am and how I see the world. 

The work I do to pay my rent feels so different. It’s not that I’m ashamed of it. Quite the opposite. I’m proud of how seamlessly I work with others, the way I bring levity and culturally informed strangeness to a team, my dependability and thoughtfulness and years of expertise. But it’s just…different. I’m still figuring out how to talk about any of this in a way that doesn’t make me feel like a LinkedInfluencer. Although, I need to speed up that process because it’s time to um, network?

Onward

The line between unemployment and self-employment is a stroke of luck. So far, I have been very lucky, and want to see if I can make freelancing full-time a viable solution for me financially. This is all my way of saying that:

I’m officially open for freelance writing/strategy projects!

You can check out a lil’ showcase of my work here and my CV here. Feel free to respond directly to this email if you have a project that needs help or a friend/co-worker/etc. who you think I should meet! I’m taking a lot of intro calls lately and genuinely love them, so don’t be shy. <3

This newsletter brought to you by:

• Forcing myself to go on cloudy weekday morning hikes to try and trick my brain into producing the good chemicals.

• Michelle, Zac, Analu, and Astrid, who helped make “scrappy lil work showcase” visually sing.

• La Colombe cold brew in a 42 oz. bottle, which is so much cheaper than my previous cold brew habits. 

• The fact that I’ve somehow been migraine-free for a whole month while also alternating between panicked mania and soul-crushing numbness. A gift from the universe that I’m probably jinxing as we speak.