What if…it is indeed that time again?
Let the 2024 holiday haiku reviews commence
Hello!
I promised a few weeks ago I’d be back for another season of holiday haiku reviews and I am nothing if not a person of my word. For the uninitiated, this is an annual project where I review Hallmark (and other energetically similar) holiday romcoms in haiku form.
If you’re looking for the archives, here is 2022 part one, part two, part three, and part four. Plus 2023 part one and part two. All of the non-haiku versions live on letterboxd. As always, if you have recos, please share them!
If this is extremely not your thing, the annual book report will be out shortly, and you can find a consolation prize for hanging around in the meantime here or here.
Alright, let’s get into it.
Hot Frosty (2024)
Oh, styrofoam snow
The Green Ribbon retelling
Gender-swapped, brainless
Christmas Island (2023)
Trapped because “big storm”
Except every day is sun?
Climate criminals
The Merry Gentlemen (2024)
Not one dancer cast
Nicole Kidman school of wigs
Statement hats galore
The Finnish Line (2024)
Navigate the throngs
[barking, cheering, upbeat song]
Must avenge daddy
Meet Me Next Christmas (2024)
Not how gig work works
Pentatonix fan fiction
Bonus queening out
Jingle Bell Run (2024)
Cruciverbalist
Mega juice, juice with the boost
Eyes inside the rink
Our Little Secret (2024)
Wreath on the headboard
Jesus, two thousand years old
Whole house of cheaters
The Christmas Quest (2024)
Yule horn, yule treasure
Thirteen naughty little lads
Turtlenecks, cut out
Deck The Walls (2024)
Ho ho ho—Home Goods®
Heteros, no chemistry
Must buy Nutella®
This newsletter brought to you by:
A box of Seroogy’s chocolates, each one picked individually (almost entirely dark chocolate creams & fudges) at the store counter.
Being on a body doubling Zoom with Gabrielle while she did real work on her PhD.
Returning to earnest for a second and donating to the fifth annual New Year’s Eve grilled cheese party in MacArthur Park.
The highlight of my week so far!
"Nicole Kidman school of wigs" is sending me